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I worry a lot.

I am a worrier. I mean lots of people are. I probably worry too much though.

What I have been worrying more about lately is my novel that I am writing. I worry that it isn’t good. I worry that I’m wasting my time. I worry that I will never get it published.

I am only seventeen years old. What do I even know about being a writer? Well I have read over 200 books in the last four years so that has got to be good for something.

I started writing when I was around thirteen. I had loved reading for only a year at this point. I never actually finished anything I wrote at this time. I mostly just experimented with different ideas. It was not until when I was sixteen that I really wanted to settle down and write a novel and be published.

I love reading fantasy so obviously the first book I wanted to try to actually write was a fantasy based story. While trying to write this book though I got stuck about thirty pages into it. Which doesn’t surprise me anymore because it was my first time actually trying to write a full out novel. My problem is I hate outlining. I still do charcter sketches and I’ll map out the conflict and the backstory but I refuse to outline the book. For me it’s just boring. Writing a novel is suppose to be this fun journey. Outlining for me is just work.

Whenever we had to outline for class last year I would do the outline after just to get the credit.

Yes I know this is probably where I went wrong and why I could not finish my first novel (which I do plan on finishing one day) but its also because I just stopped trying. School got in the way and I just stopped making time for it.

I am currently over break and have started a new novel. This one however is not fantasy. It is a coming of age story. I think this book will be a  little easier and a better first novel to try to finish.

I have currently four pages in google docs but I have got stuck twice already because I don’t outline of course. I have scene ideas written down but other then that I only have a rough idea of where I want this novel to go. But I’m not going to stop trying just because I get stuck I just have to sit back and ask myself… “What happens next?”

-Jess

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